Friday, February 12, 2010

Mistaken Identity?

I remember when I was younger and I had a serious case of mistaken identity. Honestly it was really not knowing what identity I wanted to be mine. Was it the loyal follower, astute leader, easygoing laid back along for the ride, or something else? I got my answer on April 17, 2006 at 4:45am; I wanted to be MOM. My children have enriched my life so completely that I can't and don't want to remember a time without them. Everytime I have a conversation it inevitably turns to my children. I have elaborate hopes and dreams for them and aching fears for them. I know that in the end it's in God's hands but I want to know that I gave them everything they would need while here. I think that mother's as a whole are an entirely different breed; we ache for others children (of people that we have never met), our heart skips a beat when we hear that announcement in a store that a child is up at customer service even though you know you left your child at home, we pray that all the children in the world have parents who love them as much as we love our children, we would step in front of a speeding semi if it meant trading our life for that of our childs, and to me as a mother my greatest fear is that somethign will happen and I won't be there to see my children make the biggest decisions of their lives. Or the smallest for that matter. And for that reason I cherish every single day I have with them. Even when I'm arguing with my 3 year old (who I'm sure is already eyeing the top spot on a debate team) or feeling exhausted just by the weight of it all, there is no place I'd rather be than exactly where I am.

She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn't take them along. ~Margaret Culkin Banning

The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. She never existed before. The woman existed, but the mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. ~Rajneesh



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